Tobago

Tobago
Horizon at Sandy Point

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

dear facebook

I used to keep a "dear diary" - I even had one with a lock and key. But at the end of the day, the entries were brief, cursory, not descriptive of who I was or what I was thinking. Rained today. Went to Library. Lessons. My nine year old self. Then the 13 year old: Packed eggs. Late at school. Math test. At 17: Saw S. Sewed dress. BAHS fete. First Intercol. Driving test - failed.

My secret diary was secret even if you managed to read it. So much compressed into innocuous two-worders. And although I may be hard-pressed to say exactly what was special about the days I "packed eggs" (was this to keep a tab of my pocket change?) or was ":late at school," other entries have the power to bring feelings flooding back. Me behind the wheel for the first time from Santa Cruz to San Fernando. It was not about speed, but endurance. The almost 18 year old self, hands on wheel, foot balancing clutch, eyes ahead. It felt like running a marathon. I was never an easy driver. My 16 year old self was a back seat reader - devouring chapters as the car made its way over the Saddle into Maraval to the school gate.

Saw S. Who was S again? Someone seen from a distance. Probably in a Saints or QRC or Trinity uniform. Or even more risque - someone already working, seen from the first floor balcony of a classroom overlooking the street.

Facebook has taken over the task of preserving your daily status "today for today." Still, however open to the world this on-line diary is, the communications remain encoded - wrapped in words and images that disguise hope, love, yearning, anger, fear, frustration...  So give the world a "shout out," see what friends are up to, read what interests them, check the world through other eyes and this single tiny portal - scroll back through time and photos. Be connected through virtual synapses - nerve endings that could be anywhere - in Amsterdam, London, Miami, Queensland ...

4 comments:

  1. This brought back some memories for me. I have recently re-read two diaries that I wrote when I was 11, carefully kept over the years, to find that they contain nothing outstanding. You have to read between the spaces, between the lines! I guess we understood that the small key just wouldn't keep someone from reading it!

    I was surprised to remember how many hours I spent Curling, babysitting, and reading..lol...
    And as you said, " Who was "S" again?

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  2. I never had a diary as a youngster, but in the last few years, have written in a journal.
    I think, like all those who have discovered, the liberating effect of putting thoughts to paper also frees the mind from anxieties.
    It was more an extension of my learning Calligraphy and writing poetry. Also, it was extremely enlightening. Best wishes always.

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  3. As far back as I can remember, I have always kept a diary. As a teenager and as a young adult with two small children, I wrote down everything that happened to me - all my deepest (and darkest) thoughts and feelings. Now, in my older years, I record the foods I eat, my weight, my B.P, my glucose, any health issues, errands I have to do (or did), meetings and functions, pan yards (in the Carnival season) I visited, who I saw, which movies and even, what time I go to bed!! I don't write my feelings any more, maybe because I'm afraid to, knowing that my life can end in an instant, with no warning.

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  4. Where's the "Like" button?? ;)

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