Tobago

Tobago
Horizon at Sandy Point

Monday, September 29, 2014

Wedding words

Why do people cry at weddings?

The bride and her dad were crying as they began the walk towards the groom. Twenty-six steps to place her hand in the hand of the man she had chosen to be the life partner - not a small task to give away someone you have looked after for 28 years 11 months and 25 days. Would the groom with all his charm and good looks, his willingness, his earnestness ever live up to the love of a father? A father is forever a father - nothing changes that love.

And then there was the reading by the groom's sister that melted even the stoniest hearts. "Falling in love is like owning a dog," she began. The title of Taylor Mali's poem brought chuckles and smiles. Yes, love would be exactly like my dog living in London! But before "you have a leash on love" the  bridesmaid was sobbing. "Sorry," she was saying in between the verses. She says she couldn't look at her brother and his bride without a heart that overflowed.

By the time she was at "Is love good all the time? No! No! Love can be bad. Bad, love, bad. Very bad, love" there was a punctuation of sobs. Tears flowed from the guests. But no one was unhappy, or embarrassed, or self-conscious, because in the end, "love needs love, lots of it. And in return, love loves you, and never stops."
 (See full poem below *)

The bride herself was brought to tears two nights earlier when she was presented with the "welcome to family" video. It certainly was not caused by the words that describe this fortunate 30-something young man - already a year older than his father when he married! Nor the happy-go-lucky family snaps that show him as a plump and pampered baby; as a boy surrounded by cousins and playmates; as a young adventurer on vacations in strange places. So what is it that prompts the overflow of emotion, these tears of joy? 
(Copy this link to Letter to Leah: http://animoto.com/play/6BwMPTmoI3Kf3C9wKjq7zA)

There were no tears early in the week. Family and friends were arriving from everywhere. The Italian cuginos came to Tobago for three days with the groom and his friends. Others came from Barbados, from France; and the elders from right here in Trinidad. We were following the ancient custom of a great gathering at the autumn equinox to unite unrelated clans. The ancient rite would culminate in feasting and dancing, and provide comfort and celebration and a sharing of gifts before hunkering down for the long nights of winter.

And so, the wedding of Leah and Orion begins a new cycle of life. Generations of Whites, Corbins, Wong Chongs and Ganases have already been there, and no doubt, will continue to fall in love and wed …  or not. There will be challenges: sickness, success, good times and bad, fallings, failings, happiness, sadness. But if every other marriage echoes in this union; we hope that this wedding of Leah and Orion transcends the ordinary. May they find in every day, their special secret joy that can never be duplicated or obliterated.

And when tears are shed, we hope they will always be just enough to "wash away the unlovely." (borrowed from David Rudder) Or in the words of the psalm, let there be always "joy in the morning." (Psalm 30:5)
Leah and Orion: September 27, 2014



* FALLING IN LOVE IS LIKE OWNING A DOG 
by Taylor Mali

First of all, it's a big responsibility,
especially in a city like London.
So think long and hard before deciding on love.
On the other hand, love gives you a sense of security:
when you're walking down the street late at night
and you have a leash on love
ain't no one going to mess with you.
Because crooks and muggers think love is unpredictable.
Who knows what love could do in its own defense?

On cold winter nights, love is warm.
It lies between you and lives and breathes
and makes funny noises.
Love wakes you up all hours of the night with its needs.
It needs to be fed so it will grow and stay healthy.

Love doesn't like being left alone for long.
But come home and love is always happy to see you.
It may break a few things accidentally in its passion for life,
but you can never be mad at love for long.
Is love good all the time? No! No!
Love can be bad. Bad, love, bad! Very bad love.

Love makes messes.
Love leaves you little surprises here and there.
Love needs lots of cleaning up after.
Sometimes you just want to get love fixed.
Sometimes you want to roll up a piece of newspaper
and swat love on the nose,
not so much to cause pain,
just to let love know Don't you ever do that again!

Sometimes love just wants to go for a nice long walk.
Because love loves exercise.
It runs you around the block and leaves you panting.
It pulls you in several different directions at once,
or winds around and around you
until you're all wound up and can't move.

But love makes you meet people wherever you go.
People who have nothing in common but love
stop and talk to each other on the street.

Throw things away and love will bring them back,
again, and again, and again.
But most of all, love needs love, lots of it.
And in return, love loves you and never stops.





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