Horizon at Sandy Point

Monday, October 17, 2016

Inward Journey 2

Another few chapters of intense feeling, and maybe, this writing will be done. Hopefully, it will not become a habit; we will not become addicts to this word-mongering!


My father lived without major illness or accident
Most of his life
Worked and played harder
Gusto in every endeavor
Farmer fisherman traveller
Someone who so loved to feed his family
And to eat heartily
Struck down by bilious poor digestion
Plagued by ulcers til they were incurable
He stomached them all
Forcing feeling down
Swallowing to quell the burning
A core of existence in flames
Explodes in a million searing suns
Spews hordes of memories yearnings desires
Into a sea of morphine dreams
Extinguishes the stars

Losing a husband
After 70 years
Must be like losing that fifth sense
That keeps you treading water
In a rising tide
The heart lurches on
Involuntary propulsion
Through a sea of faces and places
Time divided by this watershed
Another life shed
70 years of coupling uncoupled
The sky shifts
Glaciers melt
Tears fill the valley
Mainstay and mooring disappear
Loss is the pole star

Pain puckers the brow
Headaches unrelieved
No ginger, tiger balm, acupuncture
Soursop leaf tea
To cure a life lived pure
Now become a novitiate
To life's last drug
Composes the features
Fists unclench
Eyes open
Smiles play at lips relaxing
There’s an awakening they say
When a body will sit up take food talk
As if the rest was merely a dream
Something miraculous is happening
Some change is coming

You came home that night
Fell out of the shower
Met the immoveable unbreakable
Shattering the upper arm in a million fragments
Or three
Just lie me down til tomorrow
Jagged loose broken tile inside a sack of skin
Can break the unbroken
Unglue the undemented mind:
Immobility may be a response
Pain must be the answer
No living without pain
No pain but lets us know 
how we are alive

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