Tobago

Tobago
Horizon at Sandy Point

Friday, October 21, 2016

Inward Journey 3

Continuing this interrogation of living with dying: as only the living might do. You should note that this metaphorical language should not be taken for scientific or literal fact.

BLACK HOLE 
1
To paraphrase
Hawking et al
A black hole is a space-time singularity
A dying star of infinite mass
Collapsing upon itself
From which not even light can escape
A place in the universe that is so enigmatic
That it requires a theory
Merging gravity with other fundamental forces of nature.
You can detect the presence of a black hole only by the pull it exerts
Upon giant stars in its event horizon
Inescapably attracted to the invisible heart

2
To lose a child
However old however young
Is to fall towards a black hole
Inexorably to face our own extinction
Loss so inconsolable
Unimaginable by those
Who have their futures still
Learning to inhabit
A world without imagination
Becomes the event horizon
In which existing continues
Ever in the orbit of this singularity
This inevitable dying alive

3
Barely alive after surgery
Limbs lie heavy
Groggy slur upon thickened tongue
No wonder, visitors to this wreck of pallid flesh
Unsmiling unanswering unable
Do not return
Terrified as they must be by this inert shade
Of the animate friend companion colleague
Gone beyond the event horizon of the black hole
Inside closed eyes
I feel the tug a gentle passing
To another realm
Easy to let it go
Go into the night, like falling asleep
Freefall, gravity jerks me back:
To lose children in this way
Is to lose the world
That calls me back
To daughter’s embrace
To light on son’s face
To go or not to go...

This body needs blood, declares an angry nurse
Is that all a body needs?
No black hole white light mystery
Just blood

4
A fortnight since
You came to this bed
You are withdrawing
Into slurred speech gestures
Eyes opening wide but briefly
Is this how we go gently into that good night
No fireworks
Barely a whimper
Should we sing you softly on your way
Allow you to shut down
From exhaustion of inactivity

They say astronauts returning to earth
Have to be taught to walk again
To regain control over muscles
Become unused to gravity
They must be carried from the landing craft
What do angels need returning from earth:
Do they relearn to fly?

5
To frame these phrases of loss
Is not to make less of pain or grief
But picking at life scabs
To leave indelible cicatrix
Tattoos of remembrance on tough skin

Is dying a fall into a black hole?
Or instead, do we pass through another kind of hole in the universe?
A wormhole

 
X
A wormhole unlike a black hole
Also called an Einstein-Rosen bridge
is a hypothetical topographical feature that might be a shortcut
Connecting two separate and distant points in space time
Pathway to an alternate universe
Maybe there is a heaven after all
Somewhere above the sky
Where we’ll meet on the other side
By and by!

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